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If someone offers you a genuine compliment and your first instinct is to deflect it, dismiss it, or find a reason it cannot be true; if a friend reaches out to check on you and you feel more suspicious than comforted; if someone goes out of their way to help you and you feel a wave of discomfort rather than gratitude; you are not ungrateful, and you are not broken. For many people with a history of trauma, difficulty accepting kindness is one of the most quietly painful and p

Do you apologize before asking for help? Do you preface requests with "I know this is a lot" or "sorry to bother you" even when you are asking something entirely reasonable of someone who cares about you? Do you find yourself trying to take up as little space as possible; shrinking your needs, dismissing them before anyone else can, insisting you are fine when you are not; because stating what you actually need feels dangerous, presumptuous, or simply too much? For many traum